WHEN JOURNEY MEANT MORE THAN DESTINATION

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 25; the Silver Edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. The topic for this month is 'When Journey Meant More Than Destination'.

Beauty was not her thing .She had ordinary wavy but stubborn hair that refused to stay and fell all over her face. The pimpled cheeks ( thank you, puberty) and the hideous glasses which she had since 9th standard, said she was anything but pretty. That made her work hard and study.

But competition was fierce; and struggling in a premium institute to prove herself was beyond the word frustration.Turns out, there were many more smarter than her, and better looking too. " Life is indeed a bitch.. " she thought. Moreover, it turned out semi stalking a guy for 3 months was not a pleasant thing either. Well, what do you do, when the guy is the smartest on campus ( who FYI had traveled abroad to present papers in conferences , and was a brilliant playwright) but look at him and give a goofy smile at every failed attempt of casual conversation.

There is always research help that one can pretend to ask. But how long can that conversation last?

Then like in any other movies, off came few tresses, and roommates who redesigned the wardrobe made her believe she was indeed a hottie. But then, she never did care much for looks, was it for him that she did it? No! She did it for herself. Yet, he did talk to her after the play . "Maybe beauty makes an impression after all, sometimes better than the brains", she thought.

And soon began the late night chats and the long walks..neither admitted anything. She wasn't sure and he wasn't ready. They talked longer hours and soon she decided to tell how she felt, he wasn't ready then. But when he was ready, she thought may be it wasn't love. The roommate who heard the stories thought both were crazy. ( not crazy in love, just the usual crazy)

They did talk later too, may be about the feelings too, I don't remember but she told me about what he said to her about their first meeting; " I noticed you in hostel mess, with glasses on and unkempt hair and knew that I could come over and talk" She figured he didn't care for her looks and those words changed her. Did they get into the relationship? No, they didn't. She told me, it wouldn't work out and they didn't want to try.

Was there any point in the whole story and talks that went on for months? Was there any point in the confession of feelings which later changed with the season? Was there any point in that long moonlight walk when he told her she looked beautiful? Perhaps not. Perhaps the point was not to be in a relationship, that is no end. There is only meeting of two worlds. Perhaps the point was not to meet but to just be in each other's presence with no end road or destination. Just the journey and the presence.

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

A look and a touch
Throbbing desires
Maddening sensations.
Pleasurable pain
Painful pleasures.
Denial and hurt
Lies and manipulations
Anger and pain
Emptiness and void.

An ordinary love story II

Lets just assume this is not the end. The Universe does give them a second. The story now doesn't seem that ordinary at all! Well the girl comes back and both confess their love and even went on a date. Now that sounds pretty ordinary, but when it is the first love it never is ordinary. The first teddy bear gift, the first lunch out and deciding to give long distance a shot. So.. so.. so.. and thus the long distance relation was sealed:)

Can their love survive the distance? Can any love survive the distance? One can only hope in love, to give up easily seems too dastardly and one must give love a chance. Somebody should. I'm glad they did.

Ex- boyfriend does lurk around somewhere waiting to play his role. Somebody should make this story un-ordinary ( I know there is no such term, but I prefer this to not-so- ordinary, so kindly bear) with ex boyfriend, boy and a girl it should make a perfect love triangle and there is nothing ordinary about a love triangle ( in spite of what Bollywood and Hollywood tells you).

So lets just assume love can survive distance and hope like a someone does in love and pray like someone in love and wait like someone in love.......

P.s. written on request for a sequel

An ordinary love story

Everyone dreams of a love story, a perfect one that too. So did she and found it too. Well, but then Universe does have a strange sense of irony. He wasn't the type that went after the girls. No, it wasn't that he didn't like the chase, he was just plain shy. And she was just so friendly that it didn't seem right. While she thought he was way too perfect and sweet for her.

For a long time they kept ignoring the obvious, but Cupid isn’t the kind that can be ignored. Nah, he takes his business way too seriously. Once the arrows are struck, they leave a mark forever.By the time they realized the game of the Cupid and admitted the feelings, the Universe had to play the bad guy, and send her back to her land.

Happy ending are not for everyone. But who wants happy ending anyway? What is lost is what is remembered the most. The stolen kiss definitely is memorable, and has given her hope for many a passionate kisses that could have been shared. As always the imagined joys are sweeter than the reality.

P.s This post is written as a birthday gift to one of my dear student, Mirla. Happy Bday Mirla :)

Tell me that you love me....

Tell me that you love me..

Tell me you will stay with me..

Tell me that you will be by my side

Thick and thin, through all times.

Tell me that I am wrong

Tell me that I can be strong

Tell me that we can make it

Tell me that you are mine...

Am I asking too much?

All I want is some love.

Tell me that you love me

and I will love you back.

waiting...

Waiting for a tiny nod, waiting for a look,
waiting for that twinkle in the eye
waiting for that smile..

waiting to hear that voice
waiting to hear that sweet murmur again

Waiting for a just another ride,
to be there in that moment
when the world ceases to exist for both.

Just a glance

You couldn't call it a relationship. Not theirs. But its just that she was used to seeing him now everyday, it seemed like one. Everyday as she waved her husband and kids goodbye from her balcony, she would wait for him to come out. All she needed was a glance and she was happy with it. She didn't know his name. Neither did he. At least thats what she thought. She knew he was in the field of advertising, Mrs Rathna from 405 had told her. She knew for sure he was single, no girls visited him. Just a couple of guy friends. (You cant help noticing things these stuff when you are a neighbour next door.) She hoped she wasn't gay, he didn't look like one. He always dressed in plain light coloured, clean pressed shirts with black stripped pants.

It wasn't that she had an unhappy married life. A Husband who adored her, kids who loved her but her life was always predictable and she liked looking forward to something. It wasn't like she was cheating on her husband. But there was some joy in just dreaming and not realising it. No sweet nothings, no tiny kisses, no declaration of love, no possession of love. Just a little glance that is all.

randomness

All my life, I valued friends a lot. I have worked on relations, loved and given a lot. Hurt people too at times. All this while I had a feeling that I mattered after all, I am cared after all. But a point comes in your life, when you begin to question every relation around you. What is friendship all about? Is it sharing bits of your life with someone? or just being there? What if the other person, ain't sharing.. then? Does that mean you are valued less? Or that you are just expecting more?
Relationship equations are extremely weird. It is difficult to judge a relation by someone 's actions yet you only have actions to vouch for. Words are anyway flimsy, if you see that way, actions are flimsy too. To know love and seek happiness is an eternal need. To seek that in a relationship is stupidity, to seek in a friendship even more stupid......

Story VII- Final piece

Every relationship she had been in, she thought it would last. Hoped and prayed. Now that He was willing to offer it, she turned it down and ran away before she felt weak. Was she afraid of "forever and ever afters"? All her life, she has been wanting to settle down, with that one someone who she could share her her everyday secrets, laugh and even cry and be herself. Now that she was here, in Kerala on a vacation alone for the first time, she didn't feel alone. Even in her apartment in Banjara, she lived alone, yet going to an empty always reminded her of her loneliness, that loneliness now felt like freedom.

Nikki looked around the restaurant and saw couples, families, friends and for the first time, she was not envious. She smiled. A real smile, as she drank her coffee. She had been searching for a missing piece to complete herself, not realizing she was born a complete picture, true to itself.

Story VI

Now that Nikki was in Kerala, she should have been fine right? New place, New people to meet. Yet this mind and heart was still the same. She had left it behind in Hyderabad... the urge to call him, was so strong. She only wanted to hear his again. To tell her that it would be all right and she should just trust him. She still had a choice. Sigh! The choice!

It was a choice that she made 4 years ago...to be a second fiddle, to shatter some child's dream, to wreck a marriage and live with that guilt. That guilt tasted sweet, too sweet until her stomach began to cry 'no more'.

**********

He met her the same place they met the first time to tell her that he had made a decision. He wanted her. He was willing to walk out of 15 years of marriage for her sake. He was willing to leave behind his son to be with her. He was willing to offer her all that she ever dreamed off and even more. A marriage and a life! And yet she walked out on him, on them and their future.

***********

Now that Nikki thought of it, agreeing to be someone's mistress seeemed easier than to be someone's wife. Strange!

Things to know before you fall in love!

Before you fall in love,
make sure you brace yourself
with a helmet and a guard,
a pair of boxing gloves,
and good pair of shoes
(for a quick getaway)
Few bottles of Gatorade;
is sure to do you some good.

These sure can be of some help
to save you from disasters unknown
But who is to save you
from calamities of your heart?
Your mind and soul trapped
in the eyes of someone,
in the smile of someone,
within the heart of someone!

StoryIV

Nikki never thought she would be one of those clingy types. She was brought up to be a strong independent woman; her job and her flat in Banjara Hills; (one of the costliest areas in Hyderabad, mind you!)should be proof enough. Not that she minded him going back to his wife on weekdays, weekends were always for her. That was the arrangement. Yet the times she didn't get to see him, times he didn't answer her phone or reply to her messages, she felt alone and lost.

*******

"What is your biggest fear?" he had asked her on the first meeting.
" Failure," she replied.
" No ," he pressed again,"I asked the biggest fear?"
" That is my biggest fear." (It was partly true. I mean, I do sometimes fear what would happen to me if i lost my job and stuff right?)
" No, You are lying."
"Are you trying to psychoanalyse me , mister?"
" May be,I am" and he smiles. (Oh God! The Guy has a killer smile.No!No!. You can't be falling for a smile!)
She laughed. The truth was she just couldn't admit to her fear yet. People did see her as a confidant, modern woman, but like all , she was as scared as anyone. Afraid of making mistakes, afraid of turning out to be big failure, afraid that people around do not like her, afraid that one day if she dies, there would be no one to cry for her. But that was not what scared her the most, no matter how much she tried to change it, it just remained deep within her heart.

However, things had changed after she had met him. She had learned to take a chance, a chance in love and allowed herself to get hurt,... the betrayal and distrust and lies and some more lies.... And finally learnt that although her fears were well grounded, she could sometimes take a chance....