It is time to make some resolutions again.. Meanwhile what did I do in 2011 and what it taught me....
1. Vini wedding :
That is how the year started and What a start!! ( Happpy Wedding Anniversary Vini btw:) and what I learnt?? Letting go is easier than I thought :)

2. Manavathe courses and organisation:
I learnt to delegate work, interact with people over phone and get things done in time. Never in my dreams I thought I could do all that, that too while I was teaching full time in a college with super hectic routine :) Help will come to you, but you need to ask and stretch your hands first.

3. My lovely blog saw many stories, poems and posts making me realise that I am actually creative:) heartbreaks can be utilised to go inward and write better ..

4. Mathemagic by Bawa:
It was like a dream come true:) The session after as well. I learnt that work can happen when all are involved and making all of them involved is a skill that we need to learn :) teamwork sounds good, hard to practise which is why we have Sohum and Sowhat:)

5. I am ACTUALLY SUPER FORTUNATE!!! I can even say I am luckier than Girin too :) and that I realised very slowly but I am glad I realised that this year

6. Joined Ballroom dance class: If you love something, you need to go for it!!! Grab the opportunity while you can..and I am sooooo glad that I did..dancing brought back the balance that I needed in life (since I was considering VRS from the path of spirituality :))

7. I feel I am now more closer to family ( I do not know if they feel the same ..hahhahaha)

8. As a lecturer I have evolved learnt the ropes of my trade and is still learning :) ELTAI conference in VIT evoked the research spirit in me but then laziness took over

9. After so much cribbing, now that my single days are almost over. I am more than ever grateful that I got to be single for sooo long.

Everything is perfect the way it.. Kuch karna nahin hai, bus dekhna hai

what is life without friends....

Well, I promised myself that I shall blog once a week, but madam muse ain't that kind today. So have to make do with a random post. Today is friendship day. It is strange how earlier it meant such a great deal, those bands, wearing yellow or white salwars declaring your love for your friends, thinking it is always going to be the same and will never change. Time fools us , and soon you know things around you change so much that you can hardly begin to recognise yourself. I am not talking about the 'grey hair, wrinkled nose' syndrome, but things beyond that. The madness which was so inherently a part of your growing years is now at the back seat.

This is what I thought but then came a group chat with all hyd frens 4 of us- safa, asmita and sneha and me.. making me believe that few things never change and madness continues:):):):)

Happy friendship day all

Shades of grey

A search for meaning, purpose and a goal. need to define the chaos around me yet they beyond definition, order seems to be a faraway dream. Can this chaos be perfection in disguise? Is Satan in fact an Angel in disguise? Is it true that Duryodhana was after all a man with a heart of gold? Things would have been lot easier if they were just black and white, but life always comes with shades of grey. shades of grey making it difficult to weigh. judge. comprehend. decide. Blaming becomes a difficult task. Hating someone becomes difficult. Argh! the shades of grey!

2010

Its a new year again!..2010..I remember when it was 1999, how people said it was a new millennium and went all gaga about it, few of course were worried that world is coming to an end:). As for me, I didn't like the sound of 2000 then, was upset that i would i have to put 2000 in the date margin instead of 1.2.98 or 1.2.99..hated those extra 2 digits that i had to put...

Its 2010 now, 10 years passed away , world hasn't come to an end, I have come to like those extra 2 digits, and things are pretty much the same :) .. I have grown physically and emotionally and spiritually too.. but all that is peripheral. Nothing has changed after all :) The fact that i can see this is after all a huge change :)

jai gurudev :)

Clarification

Since so many people have asked me why have I named the blog priyadutta... let me say it. thats my real name.. among namboodiri mallus ( thats my caste, mallu brahmin) we generally name our kids after our grandparents..so my sister is named after paternal grandma, me maternal grandma, my bro parental grandpa... thats how it goes..

Resolution

I agree i am very irregular.. blogging seemed pointless to a year ago... opinions change..:)..I am going to talk now about fears... I have soo been scared of water..my dear cuz, krishna chandran who is my maternal aunt's son, managed to drown me twice in a pond.. which left deep scars.. i remember my aunt desperately trying to teach me how to swim and how imanage to escape all those sessions.. We all manage to skillfully avoid what we fear or rather hate to face... then my mum put me in aswimming class.. well, i had fever in mornings and vomitting and stomach cramps out of my fear of water.. but then my brothe taunted me.. that just hurt my ego so bad , that i went and learnt swimming just to prove him wrong... I guess thats what you need to conquer your fear... a will and a great ego :)

So now amidst all the course planning.. I just need to do what i have to do.. All these while have been running away from lot of things..gotta put an end now.. What do i want?? If I gotta spread Guruji's knowledge, then let that be 100%.. which means..i cant run away anymore..but just stop fighting and let Him shape me the way he wants me to be.. saves trouble for both of us :)..thats the plan:)